// classified // strait of hormuz // march 2026 //
The Strait Plays Back
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Brent Crude / bbl
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Solana
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Bitcoin
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The Strait Plays Back
21 nautical miles wide. 20% of the world's oil passes through it daily. One closure sends crude past $120 and the global economy into freefall.
28 naval mines now sit beneath the surface of the Strait of Hormuz. CENTCOM has deployed Mine Clearance Unit Alpha. You are the operator.
Clear the strait. Restore the flow. Or watch it all burn.
28 Iranian mines. 141 water cells. One wrong click and oil spikes to $200.
The US decommissioned all its Middle East minesweepers in September 2025.
Iran has an estimated 5,000 more. You have a mouse. Good luck.
We made a minesweeper game about a real war. That's the utility. We love you. If you need more than that, may we suggest index funds.
Donald Trump tweets about the Strait of Hormuz every day. CENTCOM issues press releases about sinking Iranian minelayers. CNN calls it a "death valley." Best marketing team money can't buy.
The roadmap writes itself. Literally. Every time Iran does something unhinged, that's a content update. We don't need a dev team — we have the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps.
If you hit one, oil goes to $200/bbl. If you clear them all, you get $62 oil and global economic stability. Those are the tokenomics. You're welcome.
20% of the world's oil passes through here daily. 150+ tankers are anchored outside waiting. You can't rug a chokepoint. Geography is the ultimate smart contract.
Current stockpile estimate: 5,000 naval mines. Current usage: 28. At this rate we've got content for centuries. The narrative literally cannot stop.